天津一中梁耀兴
26-07-07 03:54 微博认证:天津一中英语教师 梁耀兴

从“写作文”到“做判断”——一份高一期末作文题折射出的高考英语能力转型(下)
三、写作示范(以“剪纸同学”为例)
假设你推荐同班同学张明,擅长剪纸。以下是一篇示范作文:
Dear Editor,
I'm writing to recommend my classmate Zhang Ming, a talented paper-cutting artist right in our school.
Zhang Ming has been practicing paper-cutting since he was seven. His masterpiece, The Twelve Zodiac Animals, features vivid details—each animal's fur and expression are delicately cut with astonishing precision. Unlike common paper-cuts that use simple outlines, his works often incorporate complex patterns inspired by traditional Chinese myths.
I recommend him for two reasons. First, his art deeply inspires our classmates. When he displayed his works in our classroom, everyone was amazed and started to learn about this fading craft. Second, he represents the spirit of cultural preservation. While many teenagers spend hours on video games, Zhang Ming devotes his spare time to perfecting this ancient art, reminding us that tradition can thrive in young hands.
I sincerely hope his story can be shared on our school English newspaper. Thank you for your consideration.
Yours faithfully,
Li Jin

四、高分冲刺的4个独家技巧
技巧一:代表作写出“画面感”
不要只说出作品名字就结束,要用1-2个词描述你“看到了什么”。比如写“一幅3米长的画卷上画着18个栩栩如生的人物”,读者眼前立刻就有了画面。
技巧二:推荐理由写出“对比”
把被推荐人和“大多数人”或“一般情况”放在一起对比。比如“当别的孩子打游戏时,他却练习好几个小时”,这种对比能让他的品质更加突出。
技巧三:动词用“精准词”
不要通篇用make、do这种万能动词,换成carve(雕刻)、polish(打磨)、craft(精心制作)、shape(塑形)这类精准词汇。比如写“他一片一片地雕刻出龙鳞”,就比“他做了一条龙”生动得多。
技巧四:结尾“升华”
把个人推荐的意义上升到“校园文化”或“文化传承”的高度。比如“他的艺术不仅仅是一项技能,更是一座连接过去与未来的桥梁”,这样的结尾会让文章格局更大。

五、选材建议
如果推荐同学(剪纸/书法),最容易写出彩,因为可以写“同龄人对比”——同样是高中生,别人打游戏他练手艺,这种反差本身就很有感染力,也容易写出“对同班同学的影响”。
如果推荐邻居(泥塑/相声),也很好写,因为有生活气息和社区文化背景,故事感更强。
如果推荐老师(绘画/书法),虽然稳妥但略显普通,需要靠特别具体的细节来出彩,否则容易写得千篇一律。

六、最后叮嘱
高分的秘密不是“写得多”,而是“写得准”。
一个精准的作品名称(如《八骏图》)胜过三句模糊的称赞;一个具体的时间数字(如“练习了五年”)胜过一句“很久”;一个真实的场景细节(如“每次看到他低头雕刻的样子”)胜过一句“他很认真”。
按照这个思路去写,你的作文就能从“合格”跃升到“出彩”。祝你期末考出好成绩!如果你写好之后需要我帮忙修改润色,随时发给我。
您能不能就这里面的几个选项挑三个,每篇字数在125-130之间(不要出现表格形式)
好的,我挑选了三个最具代表性的选项——剪纸同学、泥塑邻居、相声邻居,各写一篇125-130词的完整推荐信。三篇在结构上保持一致,但在内容细节和推荐理由上各有侧重,方便你对比学习。

篇目一:推荐剪纸同学
Dear Editor,
I'm writing to recommend my classmate Zhang Ming, a talented paper-cutting artist right in our school.
Zhang Ming has been practicing paper-cutting since he was seven. His masterpiece, The Twelve Zodiac Animals, features vivid details—each animal's fur and expression are delicately cut with astonishing precision. Unlike common paper-cuts that use simple outlines, his works often incorporate complex patterns inspired by traditional myths.
I recommend him for two reasons. First, his art deeply inspires our classmates. When he displayed his works in our classroom, everyone was amazed and started to learn about this fading craft. Second, he represents the spirit of cultural preservation. While many teenagers spend hours on video games, Zhang Ming devotes his spare time to perfecting this ancient art, reminding us that tradition can thrive in young hands.
I sincerely hope his story can be shared on our school newspaper.
Yours faithfully,
Li Jin
(Word count: 129)

篇目二:推荐泥塑邻居
Dear Editor,
I'm writing to recommend my neighbor Uncle Liu, a master of clay sculpture who has been creating figures for over thirty years.
His representative work, The Eight Immortals Crossing the Sea, stands out for its lifelike quality. Each immortal has a distinct expression and posture—from the serene face of He Xiangu to the mischievous smile of Lan Caihe. He uses only local clay and natural pigments, which gives his works a warm, earthy tone that factory-made products can never match.
I recommend him for two reasons. For one thing, his sculptures preserve our local folk traditions that are rapidly disappearing. For another, he patiently teaches children in our neighborhood every weekend, passing on his skills to the younger generation free of charge. His dedication has turned our community into a living art gallery.
I would be grateful if you could feature him in your column.
Yours faithfully,
Li Jin
(Word count: 128)

篇目三:推荐相声邻居
Dear Editor,
I'm writing to recommend Aunt Wang, a cross-talk performer living in my community who has brought laughter to our neighborhood for decades.
Her signature piece, A Busy Morning, describes a housewife's chaotic daily routine with sharp wit and vivid imitations. She can switch between six different characters' voices within seconds, each with a distinct accent and personality, leaving audiences in tears of laughter every time.
I recommend her for two reasons. Firstly, her performances relieve our study pressure—many students, including me, feel refreshed after watching her shows. Secondly, she adapts classic cross-talk routines with modern elements like school life and pop culture, making this traditional art form accessible and enjoyable for young people. She proves that comedy can be both entertaining and meaningful.
I do hope you will give her story a place in your newspaper.
Yours faithfully,
Li Jin
(Word count: 127)

三篇的核心区别在于:
剪纸同学侧重“同龄榜样”和“文化传承”的对比力量。
泥塑邻居侧重“手艺细节”和“社区公益”的温度。
相声邻居侧重“减压功能”和“传统创新”的平衡。#英语学习[超话]# http://t.cn/RxmYu5L

发布于 天津