【容易忽视的写作要点:衔接】
很多同学认为的衔接就是first,second,third.on the one hand,on the other hand.然后每篇文章必有这些词,至于用的地不地道,合不合适就没太多考量了,这样导致作文分总是顶多中不溜秋,拿不到高分。
现在讲清楚,帮助大家提高一档:
1.衔接,主要是语言连接手段,是将句子之间,段落之间是怎么粘合在一起的,通常用连接词、代替词、同义词、指代等。衔接即路上的路标和连接线(具体语言手段)
2.怎么用好衔接?
多样化和自然。常用衔接手段分类:
A. 逻辑连接词
Addition(递进):furthermore, moreover, in addition, besides
Contrast(对比):however, although, nevertheless, on the other hand
Cause & Effect:therefore, as a result, consequently, due to
Example:for instance, for example, such as
Conclusion:in conclusion, to sum up, overall
B. 指代,这里非常容易被扣分
代词:it, they, this, these, such, one
例子:“Many people believe that technology improves life. This development, however, also brings problems.”
C. 同义词和替换
避免重复同一个词,用同义词替换:
children → young people → the younger generation
important → significant → crucial
D. 段落间衔接
使用总结句或过渡句:
“Having discussed the causes, it is now necessary to examine the effects.”
“In spite of these advantages, several drawbacks should also be considered.”
3.实战提醒:
A.少即是多:宁可少用连接词,也不要乱用或机械重复;
B.句子内部衔接:多用分词结构、从句、并列结构,而不是只靠连接词。比如×Firstly, it is important. Secondly, it is useful.✓Technology not only saves time but also improves efficiency.
4.练习,思考并修改学生作文:
While excessive misuse of digital devices damages teenagers’ mental health, I oppose a total ban and insist on stringent age curbs and school limitations.
翻译:虽然过度滥用电子设备会损害青少年的心理健康,但我反对全面禁止,并主张实施严格的年龄限制和学校层面的管控措施。
大家觉得衔接有啥问题?
思考:连接词and,
I oppose a total ban and insist on age restrictions 把两个动作(反对 + 坚持)用and连接词强行并列。但两者其实是对立关系:一个是否定(oppose ban),一个是肯定(insist on restrictions)。
读者读完后需要自己去理解:“哦,他反对全面禁令,但支持年龄限制”。实际上,高分作文要求立场一目了然,不能让考官“自己脑补”。所以这里and有硬伤。
另外, and 连接的并列成分最好在语法结构、语义强度、长度上保持一致。这里 “oppose a total ban” 和 “insist on stringent age curbs...”长度和力度都不对等。读起来像两个半句硬拼在一起,缺少自然的过渡,节奏感差,听起来“别扭”。
修改:
While excessive use of digital devices can negatively affect teenagers’ mental health, I firmly believe that a complete ban is not the most effective solution. Instead, governments should implement strict age restrictions and school policies to regulate their use.
翻译:虽然过度使用电子设备可能会损害青少年的心理健康,但全面禁止并不是最有效的解决方案。相反,正府应该实施严格的年龄限制和学校政策来规范其使用。
将and改成Instead
明确告诉读者:我不是要全面禁止,而是要另一种更好的方式。
这种“先否定,再肯定”的结构逻辑更清晰、更有说服力,也更符合学术英语的表达习惯。
以上也可以看出,改作文不仅仅是改改语法错误,内容问题,那些容易看出,很多学生自己也会改。但衔接太容易忽视了,娃平时得有意识刻意练习,以此才能逐渐掌握作用好衔接工具。
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写作如何从优秀到卓越http://t.cn/A6uoDwuT
如何改作文http://t.cn/A6ThFsyC
#课外提升指南#
发布于 安徽
