《简·爱》勃朗特
Part Ⅰ
第一部分

Truly, with so much hate in my heart,
I did feel terrible.

的确，我心中充满了仇恨，连我自己都觉得可怕。

God, and say you're sorry!" They left the room and locked the door behind them.

The red room was a cold, silent room. It was the largest bedroom in the house, but no one slept in it. Nine years ago my uncle, Mr. Reed, had died in this room. Since then no one wanted to go into the room.

Now that I was alone I thought about the terrible people I lived with. John Reed, his sisters, his mother, the servants, they all scolded and hated me. Why could I never please them? Eliza was selfish, but it did not matter. Georgiana had a bad temper, but everyone loved her because she was beautiful. John was ugly, cruel and violent, but nobody punished him. I tried to be good and make no mistakes, but they called me bad every day. Now that I had fought John to protect myself, everyone blamed me.

 

里德太太平静地说：“把她带到红房子里锁起来。”于是她们把我带到了楼上。

一进红房子，我又安静下来。我知道打约翰是我的错。仆人们都气愤地看着我。

“说真的，爱小姐，”贝茜说，“你怎么能打他呢？他是你的小主人啊！”

“他怎么是我的主人？我又不是仆人！”我叫道。

“对，爱小姐。你不是仆人，可你连仆人都不如，因为你不干活儿。”阿伯特小姐说。她们都很严厉地看着我。

“爱小姐，你必须记住，”贝茜说，“你的舅妈负担你的衣食，你应该感恩才对。你再也没有别的亲戚了。”

在我的一生中，总是听到这样的话，而我却无言以对。我沉默着，听着这些令我痛苦的话。

“如果你生气、粗鲁的话，里德太太可能会把你送走。”贝茜说。

阿伯特小姐说：“简·爱，如果你不当心，上帝会惩罚你的。向上帝祈祷，说你错了！”她们锁好门，然后走了。

红房子里阴冷、沉寂。尽管它是这幢房子里最大的卧室，但没人睡在里面。九年前，我舅舅里德先生就死在了这里。从此以后，没人再愿意进去了。

我孤孤单单一个人，心里思量着和我一起生活的这些可怕的人。约翰·里德、他的妹妹们、他的母亲、仆人们——他们都训斥我，恨我。为什么我总不能让他们高兴呢？伊丽莎很自私，但这无所谓。乔治安娜脾气坏却人人喜欢，因为她长得漂亮。约翰丑陋、残忍、凶暴，却没有人惩罚他。我尽量表现好点，不犯错误，可他们每天都说我使坏。现在我为了自卫反抗了约翰，更成了众矢之的。
那一天余下的时间里，我都待在红房子里，问自己：“为什么我非得受苦？为什么生活如此不公平？也许我应该跑掉，或者干脆饿死算了。”我忧伤地想。