弦论的调侃

The only thing string theorists and critics agree on is that string theory is point-less.

String theory is the only theory in physics that has never made a wrong prediction.

String theory is a theory of everything — except anything we can measure.

String theory is not even wrong.

If you want a job in theoretical physics, work on string theory.

Young physicists work on string theory so they can become professors before the theory is proven wrong.

String theorists don’t predict the number of dimensions of the universe — they calculate it and then hide the rest.

String theory explains why the universe has 10 dimensions: because that’s what the math says.

The reason we don’t see extra dimensions is that they are curled up very small — just like the funding for string theory experiments.

String theory explains why there are so many string theory papers: the theory lives in 10 dimensions, so every physicist can work in a different dimension.

String theory predicts everything — therefore it predicts nothing.

The landscape has 10^{500} vacua — every paper studies a different one.

String theory used to predict one universe. Now it predicts 10^{500}.

String theorists are neither physicists nor mathematicians — they are something in between.

String theory died once already. If it dies again, we know how to revive it.

String theory is a rich mathematical structure still looking for a physical principle.