Can’t recall the last time I’m this pissed. Not even when I got rejected by fucking ual[微笑]i don’t know whether it’s a good thing to feel this much but I do know it’s a prove that I havent grown since the last time I lost a basketball game eight fucking years ago. I’d still cry, self patronize and think maybe I was never good at this and it’s stupid to think otherwise. I always knew team sports could be incredibly amazing but suck so fucking much at the same time. I have loved basketball by heart ever since the first time I touched it 10 years ago. But I hate to lose. I hate making stupid mistakes and the feeling of I could have done it better. That’s the worst feeling ever. I could score 4 out of 5 shots during practice but 0 during an actual game and that really says something about my current state that’s way more than just basketball. I’m scared. I’m anxious. I don’t function properly under stress. I still have a long way to go. I really fucking hate this feeling.